Faculty Profile: Sophia Benoit

Sophia Benoit gained an impressive reputation for her razor-sharp wit and topical commentary on Twitter. As the stand-up comic and screenwriter’s following grew to 40,000, opportunity started to slide into her DMs.

She was tapped to write for The Guardian, then, in 2016, GQ recruited her to pen the legendary lad mag’s sex and relationships column. She quickly proved to be an empathetic, nuanced culture writer for New York Magazine’s women’s vertical The Cut, Reductress, Refinery29, and other outlets popular among the young and smart.

Through her Twitter, advice columns, and newsletter Here’s The Thing, Sophia gives off the effortlessly cool vibe of someone you wish was your best friend. But, as Sophia confessed to PanU, she’s also “type-A” and “on-top-of-shit but in a way that makes absolutely no sense.”

Here’s something that makes total sense: learning how to turn freelance writing into a business from a woman who mastered it at just 27 years old.

Her Jul. 13, Making a Living With Freelance Writing, class will cover everything from building portfolios that beckon new clients to using social media and newsletters to your advantage. And, of course, when to quit your day job.

But why stop there? Sophia’s teaching a second class, on Aug. 10, The Art and Ethics of Advice Columns. And since she’s no stranger to strange questions, we had a few for her, too, like whether she’s been stumped by a request for sex advice and which of her Reductress characters is most autobiographical. Here’s what she told us.

Why did you want to teach about the business of freelancing?

I didn’t have much guidance starting out. I had no idea what I was doing and I didn’t even know where to look or what questions to ask. I didn’t know people who I thought could help me.

I’ve always been shy about reaching out and asking. I’m not necessarily a bold person when it comes to my work; maybe that’s the Midwesterner in me. But I’m more than happy to share what I have learned.

You can’t sever money and writing. People are often uncomfortable talking about the financial side of writing and the non-fun truths about making money writing, but I like talking about uncomfortable things. None of this is to say that my opinions on the matter are correct. I’m just sharing what I’ve found.

I’ve gotten better at not trying to be the one saying everything.

Has there ever been a sex or relationships question that stumped you?

There are tons of relationship and sex experiences that I have not had. Some things I simply cannot write about authentically. For instance, if someone asked me a question about what it’s like to have a partner who is trans, as one of many possible examples, I cannot speak on that. That’s not my space.

I’m a cis white woman with a certain set of life experiences; I’m not going to attempt to take up space speaking on topics I have no authority on. I can, however, talk about what is universal in sex and relationship queries. If you ask me about what it’s like to feel disconnected from your partner, I know that. If you ask me what it’s like to feel envious of your partner’s best friend, I know that. I can speak on that.

I do a lot of research! I read and talk to people who know what it’s like to be poly, or to have a step child, or whatever the case may be. Sometimes I answer privately regarding what I can answer and then try to point people to others that may be more helpful.

How has your attitude towards Twitter changed as your followers have grown past 100,000?

I think—well, maybe I hope—that I’ve gotten better at not trying to be the one saying everything. It’s very alluring on Twitter to see an idea and think, “I need to add to this!” or “I have a point that is similar to this and I need to get it out!”

I’m a lot better now about shutting the hell up. Usually the point you’re about to make or the little joke you’re about to send off has been done before. The world is pretty simple.

You have to humble yourself. It’s easy at first to think that tweets that “do better” are “better written,” but, really, that person just has a bigger audience. In fact, people with a lot of followers usually get worse at Twitter as their following grows. I’m sure I did! My attitude towards Twitter has mostly remained pretty static: it’s a place that gives me so much access to people’s words that I would never get to read otherwise; that has value.

It’s also frustrating and cruel and actively bad at times.

I’m a ridiculous person; my brain is a knot of worry. I’m the person cleaning the stove before a hookup comes over, for sure. And I’m also the person laughing about it while I do it.

If it’s not too personal or awkward to ask this, which of your Reductress satirical headlines do you relate to the most?

Hhahah — it’s not too personal at all! Almost nothing is for me. (Maybe I’ve been online too long?)

Probably, “Woman Inexplicably Cleans Her Stove Before Casual Hookup Arrives.” First and foremost, it’s thirsty and a bit desperate, which is me. It’s also very much type-A, on-top-of-shit but in a way that makes absolutely no sense. That’s me to a T.

I’ve got so much anxiety about impressing people at times and it’s ridiculous. That was the idea for that article. I mean, I’m a ridiculous person; my brain is a knot of worry. I’m the person cleaning the stove before a hookup comes over, for sure. And I’m also the person laughing about it while I do it.

Los Angeles was one of the first US cities to declare a state of emergency, back in early March. Which books, movies, or TV are getting you through the pandemic?

When the pandemic first started, I had a few weeks of unemployment, and I was trying to read a lot. Then I got a really stressful job where customers yelled at me all day and I found that reading became difficult, so I turned to romance novels, which I love in general, but which are especially comforting during stressful times.

I recently finished that job and I’m back to reading again. The last two books were Real Life by Brandon Taylor and Here For It by R. Eric Thomas. I’m reading The Chiffon Trenches: A Memoir by André Leon Talley right now. I love memoirs. I love learning about people’s lives.

As for TV and movies, the things I’ve enjoyed the most, not to be just like everyone else, have been Lovebirds on Netflix and I May Destroy You on HBO. Also, I’m addicted to World of Dance. I’m a little too obsessed with JLo.

The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.